A double update!
Week 3 was the North West, featuring Aiden (Northern Lex Luther), Mary Ellen (ditzy chemistry teacher) and Chris (*yawn*... sorry, what? Who? Oh yeah, that guy), judged by previous winner Phil Howard.
The theme for this week was 'The Reformed Bell-End'. Both Phil and Aiden were insufferable in their own special ways in previous years, but actually came out alright this time. Phil's arrogance didn't feature so much when he got to be a judge, and he was a reasonably fair one at that. And Aiden used to be the absolute poster boy for over-competitiveness (competitiveness? competitivity?) and snarking, but (while that side of him didn't completely disappear) the fact that both Mary Ellen and Chris were quite nice and not rising to it meant that he didn't have anyone to be over-competitive with.
I tell you what I didn't like so much. The narrator constantly harping on about the chef's failings. Mary Ellen had a rough first round and came up late, but still got high marks, which you wouldn't know if you only heard the VO banging on about how precarious her position was. And the epithet they came up with for Aiden was 'three time loser'. Not cool, writers. As time went by I found myself rooting for Aiden more and more. Mary Ellen was obviously nicer and had some cool ideas, but Aiden was so desperate to win and put so much effort in it became quite endearing. He even teared up a couple of times when he got high scores. Bless.
Aiden ended up the winner, but here's my highlights:
Biggest Prick of the Week - This was a tough one. Phil was condescending and Aiden was bolshy, but I'm going to have to give this one to Guest Judge Rowland Rivron. Because screw that guy.
Least Prickish Prick of the Week - Mary Ellen. She didn't quite hit it this year but I think she'll do well in the future.
Moment of the Week - The tears of Lex Luther when he finally beat Superman. I mean, won the final.
Bronwen's Favourite Dish - A tie between Aiden's beef dish and Mary Ellen's Bathtub of Beans. I'm not a fan of crabmeat, but it did look pretty cool. I love food that's made to look like other things.
Wild card of the Week - Rowland Rivron teaming up with Matthew Fort to make Dad jokes.
Week 4 was in the North East, with (I think) exactly the same competitors as last year. The only difference was the judge was Jason Atherton instead of Nigel Haworth, which produced much rejoicing, as Haworth was one of my least favourite judges of all time. Atherton was alright, but his grammar drove Pete barmy. 'Pronouns are not interchangeable motherfuckeeeeerrr'.
The chefs were Colin (slightly effete previous winner with a dry-ice fetish) Stephanie (mad-eyed eager country lass) and Charlie (dead ringer for the kind of guy who used to hit on me at my old Uni's Alt-Rock nights*, so I remain surprised he isn't actually a 4th year engineering student wearing a Korn t-shirt).
By all rights, this should have been Stephanie's year. She's had gimmicky-fun leanings before, but it seemed that Nigel Haworth (grrr) knocked those out of her last year when he consistently picked on her, even pulling her away for a chat about how badly she was doing (she was doing fine, he just didn't get it). In my view, Charlie was the one who hit the brief, even when it was bit, uhh, much. But Colin was streets ahead of the other two and it wasn't much of a surprise when he won. Having said that, it was really close between him and Stephanie on the final day, and when Tim Brooke-Taylor came back to tell them how close it was I really enjoyed seeing his face fall. He was a bit too smug.
Anyway, the highlights:
Biggest Prick of the Week - Charlie. In a way this series has been a lot more diverse than previous ones. The pricks they've featured have ranged from 'smug prick' to 'annoying prick', but I have to say it's nice to see a good old fashioned 'aggressively competitive prick' again. Well played, Charlie, well played.
Least Prickish Prick of the Week - Stephanie 'Mad-eye' Moon. Gawd bless her.
Moment of the Week - When Charlie brought up his starter that looked like a dog turd, and Jason Atherton was clearly unimpressed.
Bronwen's Favourite Dish - You know, I'm going to go with Charlie's Take Away kebab dish. I know it got slated and looked a bit of a mess, but I think it was a neat idea and took balls. Charlie wins again.
Wild card of the Week - Atherton: 'I'm looking for a plate what delivers good'. Pete: 'Fuck yooooooooou'.
I won't leave it so long next time. Promise
*I don't mean to brag here. Even back in the day I tended to give off a matronly, maternal air, so the Prog fans found me comforting while the Metalheads wanted to corrupt me. Ahh, the alt-rock crowd. I truly was their queen.
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